I’VE WORKED WITH HUNDREDS & HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE IN PERSON OVER THE PAST DECADE IN HELPING FREE THEMSELVES FROM SHAME, ANXIETY, AND FEAR of their innate sensual expression, desire, and pleasure….
And what I’ve heard time and time again from the MEN I’ve worked with is that they wish their woman would teach them…
• How to touch them sensually
• Rituals in how to slow down and open them
• and actual skill based practices in how to help them to experience the BIG O over and over again….
One of the common things men have come to me for specifically in the areas of Sacred Sxxuality and Intimacy has been letting go of P0RN addiction and learning how to become a better lover for their woman (or future partners).
And from the women…gosh…the women I’ve worked with over the years confide:
• How they wish they knew how to get their partners or lovers to slow down (so they could actually experience 0rgasmic pleasure together)
• How they feel like their men expect sex from them without putting in the romantic or sensual effort
• How they want more romance and sensuality from their partners that doesn’t neccessarily lead to sex
• And how they want to try more variation in the bedroom without feeling performative, anxious, or afraid
SO WITH THAT BELOVEDS, here are some surprisingly simply yet effective tips I’ve accumulated over the last decade (from the dozens and dozens of case studies I’ve seen in partnerships) that I give to my clients for getting what you want in the Bedroom (whether you’re straight, queer, man, woman, fluid…)…
SOME TIPS FOR WOMEN (IN GETTING WHAT YOU WANT FROM YOUR LOVER IN THE BEDROOM)
• Stop faking your 0rgasms…truly…it doesn’t do anything for either of you…and in fact, it sets a precedent in your body that your authentic pleasure isn’t worth waiting for or communicating what you actually like. TIP: tune into your breath to bring you back into the present moment and invite your partner to slow down with you so you can both be more present. Going into automatic *porn mode* (I call *porn mode* the unconscious behaviour we women sometimes abdict to when going too fast or feeling numb/disconnected).
• Explore pleasure on your own: Outsourcing your pleasure solely to a partner to fulfill is like relying on an external source for happiness and pleasure you can also generate. Invest in a yoni wand, yoni egg, or some new lingerie and begin romancing and seducing yourself. Plan date nights for yourself where you put in time and effort to explore new experiences with yourself, new lingerie, and new toys:)
• Initiate your Lover: Waiting for your lover to always initiate or take the lead is a heavy burden to place on someone else. Enjoy getting curious and exploring your Lover’s hidden desires, planning a sexy surprise or taking the lead (trying on your Dom kitty) can be an enticing way of mixing things up.
SOME TIPS FOR MEN (IN GETTING WHAT YOU WANT FROM YOUR LOVER IN THE BEDROOM):
• Stop initiating with your partner simply to try + ‘get sex’ out of it… they’ll feel your intentions. Instead, try creating a container of time to explore ‘sensuality’ with your partner that explicitly will NOT end in sex. a) this will get you out of automatic conditioning that all sensuous connections needs to go somewhere and have a destination (which switches things in your brain).
• Your lover should be cumming first, as she’s the one who gets the circuitry of Eros and energy flowing…so slowwwww down…edge her into oblivion, look at foreplay as a main course and not an appetizer, whet your appetite with her yoni and appreciating it with fingers, mouth etc…It takes a woman longer to get her fires burning, and so often when a man is coming within the first 30min, his partner isn’t even up to a boil yet (hence the epidemic of women faking 0rgasms).
• Practice Edging + Semen Retention: It truly is the Workout that will change your Game darling. And while you’re on the train, commit to a p0rn fast…join a NoP0rn club, NoFap group, or other men’s group to hold you accountable and in integrity. Because developing your own imagination and also learning actual skills vs. what you’ll see in the average porn vid is going to be far more helpful (not to mention, watching porn as a daily habit is going to decrease your ability to go longer/affect stamina).
MY TOP BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS TO BEGIN OPENING UP & EXPLORING SEX MAJICK/NEO-TANTRIC PRACTICES, AND SACRED SEXUALITY:
- My book of course (to begin expanding your horizons of feminine sexuality in an entertaining fashion): “Ascension of Gaia: Resurrection of the Sacred Sexual Feminine”
- “The Art of Sex Majick” by Margot Anand: An OG & Pioneer in the field of Sacred Sexuality, this book is filled with great rituals, diagrams, and sexual shamanic practices to deepen intimacy with yourself and your lover
- “Sacred Sexual Healing: The SHAMAN Method of Sex Magic” by Kamala Devi McClure & Baba Dez: This was a profound book that truly started me on my path of sexual awakening in my late twenties.
More resources will continue to be shared with you lovers!
If you’re a man desiring to learn from the Goddess and attune yourself back to the art of Romance, the skills of sensuality and develop your personal relationship to your sacred sxxuality, you’ll love what we’re doing in the APHRODITE EXPERIENCE: A RETREAT INITIATION FOR ME
You’re ready to explore your Primal Masculinity, the ancient erotic arts, and thrive wildly in your relationships with the Divine Feminine….
AN ALCHEMICAL 6-MONTH CO-ED CONTAINER WITH PHOENIX AMARA – EXPLORING PLEASURE, DESIRE & SELF-WORTH | STARTING SEPT 2023
so you can experience the love, sex & relationships your heart aches for. Sign up to get on the Waitlist for when it launches (and get access to some yummy bonuses).